Today I went to Taylor Swift’s concert featuring Ed Sheeran and some other bunch of artists, but those two were the main important ones. I had an itching urge to write this blog post after the concert and you may have guessed it, the concert gave me an epiphany or just plain realization. I went to the concert mainly for Ed because that man is simply amazing and even more breath-taking live. His songs and performances just felt so genuine and generally looked effortless while performed. Anyways, I went there looking for Ed, but instead, Taylor showed me a new perspective. You may think I’m strange for writing about this but the main point is, she had hit all the right emotional spots. I had a certain view of Taylor before the concert; don’t get me wrong, I love her songs but her numerous public relationships and the basis of her song inspirations are questionable. I guess you could say now I completely (or at least partially) understand why she does what she does and the kind (or somewhat) of a person she is.
Forgiveness was a concept I never fully understood. It was an abstract kind of emotion felt towards someone who has done you wrong, but you choose to let the negative part go anyhow. One thing I’ve learned about forgiveness is that, it’s incredibly difficult. It’s not just difficult but it also takes time, takes mind, takes thoughts, and takes hits to your ego. Me, being the stubborn person I am, tend to hold grudges in the past. It was not because I was prideful, but because I was extremely stubborn and wanted to wish bad things/ get revenge upon those who have done me wrong. I was angry and felt that the world was being exceptionally unfair to me. It was also easier to hold grudges rather than letting go because that would seem like you’ve given up, or that you’ve lost. To me, forgiveness felt like defeat. Now over the past few years, I realized that it’s entirely up to the people to decide whether they want to change for the better (or for worse) and whether they realize their past mistakes to try to establish new beginnings. The victims, on the other hand, have to cope and forgive and hope that maybe someday, the perpetrators can finally become fully aware of their actions. I’ve also become aware that some people do reflect (while others don’t) and can really bring light to your life.
But before that, I had to battle with myself to forgive. I learned that there’s no use to vengeance and there’s no use to satisfaction gained from even more pain. Ms. Swift said something during the concert that went a little like this: “I always thought that meanness was something you could outgrow but I learned that no matter how old you are, what job you have, etc, someone will always pick on you. So I realized that it’s not about wishing it wouldn’t happen but how you deal with it when it does. You just have to make sure that it doesn’t affect you in the way that you would inflict that pain upon someone else.” Anyways, it sounded more profound than that. Although something might have affected you personally or someone close to you to cause agony, I think it’s really important that you don’t make the same mistake of becoming the monster you once feared. This would just end up being a vicious cycle of imposed torment.
So I choose to forgive. No matter how much it used to hurt, or still does, or will in the future, no matter how close they are to me, used to be, or never really was, and no matter how much emotional damage I have obtained to last me a lifetime, I forgive. Because when you genuinely want to see a person happy or want them to live a good life, you forgive and pass blame for all they’ve done to you.
And I hope you can too.