First off, the timing could not be any more horrible. Being stuck in the middle of exam season with still more than half of my finals to go, specifically 80%, is nothing short of a perfect timing, right?
I mean, I really didn’t want this, but what could I say? What solution did I have? I had none. I wasn’t prepared and this caught me by surprise. Were there hopes? Maybe. But were there false hope? More so, I believe. What more could I say, than the fact that the inevitable truth was in front of us all this time yet no one was strong enough to acknowledge it fully until now. The fact that something so serendipitous was taken away so swiftly, like nothing ever happened, nothing ever mattered. Now I’m a firm non-believer of forever, because all good things eventually comes to an end, but I’d like to have faith, faith that someday, just someday, somebody could prove me wrong.
But I guess we should because a part of us fear the upcoming, and another part really do hope this could potentially last. But giving up so easily is something I’m not proud of, but we both knew the evidence was there and nothing I could say could make things any better, or longer. Nothing you could say will get the idea out of my head, the idea that you thought about this much longer than I ever did or that it’s always been embedded in the back of your mind. Perhaps we are caught up in two opposite spirals intertwining one another with growing up and finding oneself, two distinct worlds with two separate goals, or perhaps we’re too selfish to let ourselves go.
I guess the timing isn’t right.